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Merry Christmas!!

Sharing a little holiday love!

Being a parent is hard.

... but I am thankful for my wonderfully insightful and understanding daughter.  Who sometimes drives me nuts.

Recently, Tae has been acknowledging that being a parent is hard.  This first surfaced when she asked me to read a book to her in the parking structure outside Borders (we got kicked out because it was closing at 7pm on a Sunday in December).  I had asked her, incredulously, "You want me to read you a book while we sit in the parking lot?"  And her response was, "Being a parent is hard."

This has come up again a couple times.  I acknowledge that being a parent is hard, and I also told Tae that being a kid is hard.  She agreed, her reasons being a) sometimes you don't get to make choices, and b) you never know what's going to happen.

It is hard being a kid, when you never know what is going to happen.  Like this past week, when I had to roust her from bed at 7:30am.  I started gently shaking her, and when she woke up, she looked at me, and then burst in to tears, "I wanted to wake you up!!"  This is her daily routine, waking up the grown-ups in our house.  But, when things don't go according to her plan, she freaks out.  Life is hard, if you're five.

Being a parent is hard too.  This afternoon, Tae and I spent almost an hour pretending we were twin sisters.  Tae went and ratted to E that I was bothering her, but I wasn't!  Then I told Tae to stop saying that I was bothering her, and then she said that I was bothering her by saying that she needed to stop bothering me.  E said we should ignore each other and not feel bothered, and Tae yelled me to stop bothering her, and then I told her that I wasn't doing anything and that she needed to stop bothering me first. And then...

Tae has also been asking about when she's going to be a big sister.  And I told her that being a big sister is also hard.

Despite the fact that life is really hard, as a parent, a partner, a big sister, etc., our lives are actually quite joyous.  During the time that Tae and I were acting like sisters who fight a lot, I caught a couple glimpses of this infectious impish grin, as Tae laughed at the fact that we were pretending to fight.  These are the moments that make all the hard times totally worth it, the moments when we can laugh, and have fun together, even as we're yelling and pretending to fight.

I am thankful for my family.

Happy Holidays!

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The 12 Days of Christmas

The 12 Days of Christmas



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Our Tree

Our tree

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Uh.  She kinda omitted the fact that E also helped us decorate our tree.  Our tree is not only beautiful, but also slightly unstable.  It almost fell over las night, especially because I forgot to water it for 2 days and had no water in the base. =(

Angry Monday

I wasn't doing anything particularly exciting, except that my friend and I were walking out of a Vietnamese restaurant.

This man was standing outside, with his coffee resting on the restaurant sign out on the sidewalk.  To me and my friend (who is also Asian American), he says, "I appreciate Asian beauty."

And we walked away, dumbfounded.

I really wish I had had the nerve to say, "And we don't appreciate racist sexist remarks."

But I didn't.  And now, here I am pondering whether it would have helped me feel better if I said something.  And he probably feels good about himself that he told some Asian women that he appreciated our beauty.  What is wrong with this picture?

I don't think I've ever walked up to someone and told them that I appreciated something about them.  Based on NOTHING.  Should I have told him that I appreciate the racist heterosexist patriarchal world that I live in?  (Oh wait, I don't.)

Who really thinks that that's an appropriate thing to say?  To complete strangers?

Or maybe I should have told him that I'm not actually beautiful, that this is something that has been social constructed by the media.

Or maybe I should have told him that I appreciate ignorant white men because they provide so much fodder for my life, my blog, and my work?

Sigh.  Happy Monday.  This is why I like posting cute videos about Tae on Monday. 

Sleepless

The girls went to bed at midnight and Tae woke everyone up at 7am.

Today will be interesting!

Tae-less!

Well, it's almost 11:30... and no phone calls. I think the sleepover is a success!

If there were any phonecalls, I would really have expected them by now.

A little part of me feels bittersweet about this - that clearly Tae doesn't need me how she used to. And part of me is proud that she feels safe enough and independent enough to take big steps like this and do some really big kid things.

I'm also wondering what the right thing to do is- I guess we should invite Tae's friend for a sleep over in the relatively near future.

The first sleepover

Tae is on her first sleepover tonight.

I don't think I'm going to sleep well. But, Im guessing that if it's not going well, I'll know in the next two hours....

I'm keeping my fingers crossed. My mom reminded me that I didn't even make it past the front door when I was first invited for a sleepover. But then again, I could have counted the nights I spent away from my parents on my hands. Tae has probably spent over 30 nights away from me so far in her life.

Sigh. I knew this would be harder for me than Tae. She looked a little nervous when I dropped her off, but her friend's parents set up a princess tent in the basement, and they were going to have popcorn and hot cocoa...

I think she's going to be fine. And I hope I will too...

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Somewhere Over the Rainbow



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