bloogs blowing by

When I Grow Up

This morning at Tae's school, there was an announcement hanging up about one of her classmates' father who had discovered some fancy-schmancy method for making magnets or something like that.  Tae asked what the announcement was about and I told her that someone's father had discovered something and about how that's what scientists do.

So I asked her if Tae wanted to be a scientist and discover things when she grows up.  She said, "No, I want to be a mommy."  I told her that she could be a mommy and be something else, just like how I'm a mommy, and I also work in my office.  Then Tae looked at me with these big concerned eyes and asked, "Will you still be my mommy when I'm a mommy?"  I told her her that yes, I would always be her mommy, and I would always take care of her, just like how my mommy helps me.

And then Tae turned to me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a mommy and an author.  Will you be an author with me?"  I told her that I would, that I would love to make books with her.  Then she said to me, "I know!  You can write the words and I'll be the illustrator!"

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *
Somehow, she knows how to say all the right things that make me all bubbly and happy and optimistic inside.

Oy vey.

I swear, this is a direct quote of what the director of Tae's school said to me this afternoon when I came to pick her up:

"Eliaday, I made your daughter cry today.  But you have to hear why.  She snuck her purse to her cot at nap time.  And I found her sitting cross-legged chatting away on her cell phone.  I had to tell her to put it away until the other kids fell asleep.  She looked more like 13 than 3.  I had to keep myself from cracking up.  But she can't talk on the phone during nap time."

Tae overheard the end of the conversation and said, "I was PRETEND talking!!  And I was talking quietly!!"  (on a pretend cell phone.)

I suggested that maybe she write a letter instead.

Or that if she's going to pretend to be on the phone, that she at least pretend to be listening to the dial-a-story at the public library.

We have recently rediscovered dial-a-story (I remember these from when I was little). At the Boston Public Library, there is a Cantonese dial-a-story that we call in to.  Neither of us actually understand the story, but it's fun anyway. 

Today, I tried to explain to Tae why sending mail FOR REAL involves putting a real stamp on the envelope so the postal carrier can bring the mail to the recipient.  First Tae asked me, "Why didn't you give me a real stamp before?"  and then she got really upset about the concept of the postal carrier bringing the mail instead of her personally delivering the mail.  All the letters that she writes me when I'm gone get personally delivered to me by Tae.  I guess the idea of a third party (ie the USPS) making the delivery was kind of upsetting to her.  Either that or she was just overtired... well, because she was talking on her pretend cell phone when she was supposed to be napping.

I have a new approach to things that I'm doing as a parent now.  It's called "always tell the truth."

Example 1:  When Tae asked tonight why she couldn't go outside even though it was still light out, I told her that because she didn't nap today, she had to go to bed early so she could get enough rest.  Yesterday, she got to stay up later, and had had a nap during the afternoon.

Example 2:  Tae asked why someone was smoking in a car that pulled up next to us during our car ride home.  She told me that smoking was bad for the earth, and asked why that person was smoking if it's bad for the earth.  I replied, "Some people do things that are bad for the earth.  Everyone gets to make their own choices and sometimes good people make bad choices.  You can make your own choices about what you want to do."

I've decided that the trouble I get in to by giving Tae misleading stories is worse than the trouble that I get in to from telling the truth.  We'll see how far this gets me.

i'm still here!!

this is just a quick shout out to say that i am still alive.   

last week i was at a training institute for work in michigan.  this weekend, i am at a retreat with students.  i am tired.  i miss my bed.  i miss my baby.

but on the flip side, i am invigorated about my work.  having spent the last two days with an amazing group of college students, i am reminded about why i do the work i do... and i am full of excitement and energy for the coming school year. 

i would never give up any of my roles - as an educator or as a mother.  but sometimes, i don't know how to fit it all into the 24 hours that i have every day.  this is not even to mention any other hats that i might wear (this probably explains why i fold laundry once every other month).  there's a quote somewhere about how every amazing person in history still only had 24 hours in a day... but were any of those people balancing single parenthood with all of their other roles?

anyway.  i'm alive.  i'm inspired.  i'm homesick.  and i'm tired.  and i miss tae.

(and, i'm incredibly thankful to have the most loving and helpful parents in the world.)

definitely 3 and a half

work-ish colleagues at a friday outing:
"how old is your daughter?
me: "3 and a half."
tae: "actually, i'm 3 and 3/4."

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *
today, i told tae that i needed to do some dishes for 10 minutes, and then i'd come play with her. 

she, being 3, is faster than me, and said, "you stay right here." 

two minutes later, she came back to the bedroom (where i was having troubles getting off of the bed) and said, "i did the dishes, so now you can play with me."

"which dishes did you wash?"
"the bowls, the plates and the chopsticks in the sink."
"and they're all clean?"
"yes."
"did you use soap?"
"umm, no."

darn.  she almost was helpful.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *
in the car today...
tae: "mommy, how do you think?"
me: "how do i think?  do you mean what do i think?"
tae: "no, HOW do you think?"
me:  "like what happens when i think?"
tae: "no, how do i think?  how do you think?"
me: "you mean what goes on in your head?"
tae: "YES!"
me: "we think thoughts, like ideas..."
tae: "like remembering?  like hearts?"
me: "yup, and you can think about things you want to do, or think up stories."
tae: "i think a lot.  i think about when will mommy come back... and i wish mommy would cut out heart for me, and i wish i could buy a new stuffed animal."

the idea of tae thinking a lot is a little scary.  it means that there is a) definitely a lot more going on in her head than she lets on and b) she is absolutely positively my daughter.

taemom

[note from the editor:  this is officially tae's first post.  apparently, the new typepad app on my ipod touch is so easy that even a three year old can figure out how to work it.  this is what happens when i am lazy in the morning, and let my daughter play with my ipod so i can shut my eyes for 5 more minutes.]

I am proud

Lately, I think Tae and I have been talking a lot about different families. When we are pretending, I always make a suggestion about the family: maybe there could be two mommies? or two daddies and mommy? Mostly, this is because I don't want Tae to ever feel like her family is abnormal. I try to teach her that families can be different.

So, imagine my joy when Tae and I saw an infant and two women sitting on a picnic blanket at the park and Tae exclaimed, "Look! It's two mommies!".

I would have thought that it was one mommy and her friend, but maybe there's something that Tae can teach me about how I see the world.

this weekend, part one

i took thursday and friday off, so i had a super long weekend with tae.  and boy, did we make the most of it.

thursday, i actually took tae in to her school so that we could go on her class field trip to the boston public library.  the bulk of the field trip was actually just the part about riding the T for 3 stops with 30 preschoolers, but it was a fun adventure.

as the kids were getting ready for the field trip, tae heard one of her teacher's say something that tae interpreted as "we get to get our own library cards."  (i think the teacher actually said she was going to get *her* library card to check out books.)  and so, when the rest of tae's class was getting ready to leave, tae had an inkling in her head that she was supposed to get her own library card.

and so, we asked the children's librarian, and lo and behold, there is no minimum age or requirement for a child to get their library card at the boston public library (i think as long as a parent/guardian has one).  and so, i filled out the form (tae wanted to do it herself), and now, tae has her own library card.  woo-hoo!!

the kind of funny thing is that she's started carrying around this pink purse EVERYWHERE she goes.  inside her pink purse are:

• an old cell phone (that she dropped in the bath tub)
• an empty bottle of purell (aka purella! to tae)
• two sets of keys (pretend)
• an old wallet

inside the wallet, tae has a couple dollars, some change, and some used gift cards. metrocards, etc.  and now, to her collection, she has a real library card.  she was so thrilled to get her own card, and so be able to put it in her wallet.

sometimes when i'm hanging out with her, i feel like she's a lot older than three.  i hope we can stay friends for a little while at least.

independence means...

a green marker and a mother concentrating driving on the road:

writing your name on your leg

giving yourself a butterfly tattoo

conking out after drawing a green alien... on your face.

here's to independence!!

a guitar and a girl

a guitar and a girl
Video sent by eliaday

i'm back

and what a welcome back it's been!!

we landed back in boston to downpours.  it's currently thundering outside.  and i'm at home, despite honest intentions of going to work today.

tae got a little sick over the weekend, with a fever for a day.  and yesterday, she started complaining about her throat tickling when she ate or drank.  i took her in to the doctor this morning; meaning we were out of the house by 5am PST.  (did you know there's such thing as a 5 minute strep throat test?)  it turns out that she probably has hand, foot and mouth disease, technically, a virus.  what a horrible name.  anyway, she's pretty much fine now, though she still has some sores in her mouth.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

my san diego vacation with E was really great.  i don't know where to begin - where the high points the company?  the food?  meeting my future in-laws? 

though, this was definitely a high point, and a purchase that will keep me quite happy for a while.  [that's me with my new angry little asian girl wristlet - i *almost* screamed when i saw it at the sanrio we happened to go in to looking for things for, ahem, my daughter.  i was also tempted to buy every angry little girl trinket i saw there, but managed to come out relatively intact and with some thoughtful purchases.]

for your reference, here's the description of the wristlet on the angry little girls website:

Alternating gray dots with Kim giving the middle finger in pink and gray dots and darker gray dots with the word angry. This wristlet can be carried on your wrist, perfect for parties and clubs so you can have your hands free to hold a cocktail or dance. The handle is also handy in case you need to whack anyone when you get mad at the end of  a fun night.

what's not to love about a bag like that?  =)