bloogs blowing by

Our Halloween

We spent Halloween in our town center, walking the streets with lots of ghosts, princesses and many versions of wonder woman, batman and buzz light year.

We attempted to take the bus so we wouldn't have to walk all the way to the center of town and back.  But, after 3 stops on the bus, I could see that there were kids outside walking that were moving much faster than us. Traffic was horrible.

So, we got out, and walked.  A lot.  Lucky for us, it was a gorgeous fall day.  So gorgeous that when Tae asked if she could take off her jacket, I said yes.  I was hot in my jacket too!

Tae carried this very tiny pumpkin bag.  Luckily, her mama was carrying a bigger one.  We emptied her little bag into mine two or three times over the course of the afternoon.

Everyone loved Tae's costume.  Mostly because when people asked her if she was a ballerina, she started acting like a ballerina.  Which meant pirouetting, posing, and walking down the street en pointe.

After trick or treating, we went to my office halloween party, which had a very scary haunted house in the basement.  Tae, to her credit, really understands that a lot of this is pretend, and kept peaking her head in to the haunted basement.  (I was very scared of it - there was fog, a strobe light and scary music.)

NPR gets me in trouble again

I know that the reasonable thing to do is to turn off the news in the car.  But to be honest, that's the only way I learn anything about what's going on in the world.  Seriously.  If it's not on NPR during my commute, I don't know that it's happening.

SO.  The other day driving home, there was a story on the radio about a young boy who I think had died in an accident when he was playing with a real gun.  Tae heard part of the story, and I edited it to tell her that the boy was playing with a real gun, got hurt, and had to go to the hospital.

We've been talking a lot about guns recently, as a result.  Hunters in Peter and the wolf with guns.  Police officers with guns.  US Marshals with guns helping Ruby Bridges during civil rights.  It's kind of funny - she calls a bullet a ball.

But Tae now knows that guns are dangerous.  And this morning, as she sat on the potty, she asked me why police officers and marshals carry guns if they hurt people.

And I had nothing that made any sense that I could say to her.  Except that violence begets violence.

Happy Halloween.

Mama's little helper

Sometimes, I get frustrated trying to deal with Tae's unique brand of logic.  But other times, her logic is actually helpful.

Yesterday morning, Tae realized that we had a book from school that we needed to bring back.  I was making breakfast at the time, so I told her to go put the book by the door so we'd remember to bring it with us to school.  When we arrived at school, she asked me if I had the book.

I told her I had forgotten the book because we were rushing out of the house.

"No, Mommy," she says, "YOU have the book.  I put it in your purple bag."

I peaked inside my purple bag, and there was the book tucked inside. 

The part in between breakfast and rushing out the door was filled with our daily argument about why she has to get dressed and why she has to go to school and why I have to go to work.  Why, why, why.

Why can't she be helpful more of the time?

Monday Movies

Monday Movies
Video sent by eliaday

Ta-da!!

And here is the final product, with a bun in her hair and everything.  Tae looks so grown up!!

Yes, we'll be going out trick-or-treating, and then to a party at my office (notice the trend?).  I have no qualm telling her to put her jacket over this outfit.  I think with the skirt, it will be obvious what she is anyway.  The ballet slippers are also only for inside.  She's been wanting these like FOREVER (in the life of a 4 year old).

In other news, I asked Tae for ideas about what I should dress up as.  (Why did I think that would be a good idea?)  Her response: a ballet teacher!!

The Costume

So.  The costume project is officially finished.  Here's how the project progressed.

The materials. 
Pink sparkly tulle, pink ribbon, and a pattern.

The process.
Sew lots of circles to tulle.  Layer together.  Gather.  Make poofy.

Do a lot of basting.  Sew on ribbon waist.

Buy a leotard and dance shoes. 

Wait to see what Tae thinks.... I'll keep you posted.

Caught in candy

Sometimes I need Tae to keep me grounded.  Work is stressing me out lately.

And then today, at a work thing, Tae had cotton candy for the first time.  Walking home, I asked her if she liked it.  She made a face and shook her head.

me:  "Did you like the cotton candy?"
tae:  "Like fish caught in a net?"
me:  "Huh?"
tae:  "Like you caught a fish?"
me:  "OH.  No, it's not caught-in candy, it's like cotton, like a cotton ball?"
tae:  "Huh?"
me:  "Like cotton, like the soft stuff in a quilt?"
tae:  "OH.  Like cotton, like a cotton ball."

She makes me proud

We were at a coffee shop in Davis Square this weekend, and a slightly scruff older gentleman came up to Tae and said, "Are you running for president?  Because I'd vote for you for president."

Tae, amazingly, held her ground, "Do you know who I'm going to vote for?  Barack Obama."

Coffee house man, "Wow, you say that better than he does.  Are you sure you don't want to be president?"

Tae, "No, I'm going to be a mommy when I grow up."

To his credit, scruffy coffee house man told Tae that she could be a mommy and be president.  I followed up by telling her that she had to wait until she was 40.  Which basically means that I need to be retired in 36 years so I can take care of her babies while she goes off and works in a museum, writes books, *and* serves as president. 

Tae also has told me that she thinks Barack Obama will be the best president because he's a daddy.  I did the right thing and told her that John McCain is also a daddy.  Oh well.  I should just tell her that John McCain doesn't know how to text or send emails.  She'll probably say, "DUH.  Barack Obama *is* the best."

Priming the Pump

This morning, when Tae woke up:

"The fall is bugger time.  When it's cold, the cold goes up your nose and you get buggers and you get sick.  Isn't that right?"

30 minutes later:

"I like staying in hotels.  I like California.  I like the beach and the summer."

Coming out

Tonight I dragged Tae with me to a fancy work-function.  I needed to be there to be there, and to say some brief remarks (like under 5 minutes).  There were fancy work people there, like my boss, and people above him.  It was from 5:30pm to 7:30pm on a Friday evening.

It didn't really occur to me that some of these people have no idea that I have a child.  But, the truth is, they don't.  For some reason, people meet me, sit in my office, and if they don't know I have a child, it doesn't even occur to them that the artwork and photos that *cover* my office are by and of my daughter.  I probably have 20 drawings by Tae all over my office, countless pictures, markers everywhere, and a box of legos in the corner.

And yet, even my boss was surprised to learn that the girl clinging to my knee was my daughter.  Another colleague even went so far as to point out the beautiful child sitting at a nearby table (Tae was sitting with my friends).  I said "thank you," and he gave me a confused look.  It was only after me saying that she was my daughter that it clicked for him.

It made me uncomfortable.  Am I obligated to talk to my boss about my personal life?  Why do people assume that I don't have a child?  Will they view me differently having met my daughter?

I know that my boss *knew* that I have a child becuse I have mentioned childcare issues in scheduling things with him.  I don't think it really clikced until he saw her, and knelt down to talk to her.

I suppose most of it is my own insecurity, that maybe seeing me as a mother will make people think less of me in the capacity of my work.  That I can't do my job well because of my responsibilities at home.  I'm sure that they would totally flip out if they knew that I was a single mother. 

Part of it is that I care a lot about my work, maybe almost too much.  I've been one of only a small handful of people building up the programs of my office, and I am very proud of my work and emotionally connected to it all.  The women that I work with tend to be more compassionate about the roles of working mothers.  But, I think the men that I work with don't always get it. 

I remember another night I was working at social function, and a colleague asked me where my fiance was.  My response, "Someone's got to stay home with my daughter."  Where did he think that she was?

Maybe it's nice to put it all out there.  And maybe no one but me even cares.  Who knows.