bloogs blowing by

Roots

I remember in 5th grade, our class was studying Europe.  Each student was supposed to then pick a country in Europe to do a report on... and our teacher suggested maybe picking a country that we had roots to. 

Except, well, in my family, no one really has roots to Europe. I ended up with the Netherlands because I thought that windmills were cool.

Fast forward to 6th grade, and we have a little more latitude with our reports.  I think the topic was just American history.  My mom suggested that I write about the Chinese laborers who helped build the transcontinental railroad.  And it was then (well, uh, it might have been a similar report I wrote in 7th grade), our local public library, that I was first introduced to Ronald Takaki.  I distinctly remember how much his name and his book stuck out - as one of only a handful of books about our history written by someone whose family had lived through it. 

It was such a contrast - to read about American history that related to my family, my grandparents, and what they experienced.  Compared to feeling like a lone student who didn't have family history in Europe, this was something that was mine, that was personal.

I hope that as Tae grows up, she continues to find this - the connections in the big picture of history, politics, whatever - back to her own life.  Finding the relevance of our stories, the voices of our elders... these things are so precious and so important.

I was lucky enough to meet Ronald Takaki in the fall of 2007.  As part of my quest to pass along our stories and histories, I have a collection of books by Asian American authors that have been inscribed by them to her.

His inscription reads:

To Tae:

A study of the past written for your future.  To empower you with a remembering of your roots.

With best wishes,

Ron Takaki
October 16, 2007

May we all be empowered by Ronald Takaki's words.  Rest in power.  I will remember.

Proud of Tae, California, not so much

Over the past week, I've started having a conversation with Tae about marriage.  Mostly, our conversation took place on express bus to Boston.  She started the conversation, naturally.  She asked if I was married yet, we talked about who I was getting married to, and then... "Can I be your flower girl?"  and from there on out, it was all about dresses and how beautiful flower girls are, and what kind of shoes do flower girls wear?  She even told me that there's no such thing as a flower woman.  Huh?

I snuck a little in about *why* people get married (because they love each other very much, because they want to be a family), and then she asked me, "Can two women get married?"  And she made me very proud to know that she doesn't think marriage is defined as between a man and a woman.

Although, in complete honesty, I think she was thinking about me and her, how we love each other very much and want to be a family.  Heck, she even thinks that if I live with her when her eggs hatch, that her babies will have two mommies.  Sigh.  But at least she's not thinking all heteronormatively.  That's what's important.

The Weekend in Photos

This is Tae in May 2007 when we visited Vassar...

And this is Tae this past weekend at Vassar.  She looks the same to me... except that she's just starting to look like such a big kid.  (Minus the blankie that she started carrying around recently because our neighbor's daughter does.)

Representations

Sometimes I have to remind myself that things are much simpler when you're four.  And sometimes, a drawing of a sad girl in jail is just a drawing of a sad girl in jail.  And it doesn't *really* mean anything larger.  Right?

Monday Movies: The Swimming Lesson

Monday Movies: The Swimming Lesson
Video sent by eliaday

On the bus

These past two days, we have taken the bus to schoolwork and back home.  The biggest reason we're taking the bus is because Tae wants to.  I actually kind of enjoy it, because she'll sit and peer out the window, and I can sit back, zone out, and sip my coffee, or try to.

Door-to-door, I think it's a little longer than driving.  But, for me, it's less stressful because I have no control over how fast the bus goes.  We just sit and wait.  And I'm ok with that. 

We actually have to take two buses to get to school/work.  The first morning, we were almost to the bus stop, and I saw our bus zoom past.  We had to wait about 12 minutes for the next bus, which wasn't too bad. Our transfer is pretty easy, and is at Copley Square - so there's lots to see and talk about.

Today, we had to wait a good 15 minutes for our first bus going home.  When we got back to Copley, I saw our bus already loading people.  I really kinda wanted to make this one, so I scooped up Tae and started running across Copley Square.  Usually, I don't carry Tae and run, so the whole time I was running, Tae was shouting, "Bobbly head, bobbly head!!"  beause her head was bouncing around like crazy.  Luckily, we made it.

We are very lucky in that whenever we get on the bus and there are no seats, people will give up their seats for us.  For both me and Tae.  I am grateful for this.

I know that Tae likes it because it's a different point of view, there are lots of people to observe, and different things to see out the window (with no seatbelt!).  She really likes pressing the stop button.  I think Tae also likes it because it feels like we get to hang out for a little bit longer in the morning and in the evening.  I can sit next to her on the bus, we can chat more easily. 

Tae is more cooperative with leaving when it's the bus schedule we have to make.  Versus my schedule.  And when Tae is more cooperative, I'm in a better mood.  It's really a win-win.

I'm happy to be on the bus because I can sit and daydream a bit.  It makes me feel out in the world a bit more - driving to work and driving home and be very insulating.

We'll see how long this lasts.  I'm not a fan of taking the bus in the inclement weather.  I'm lucky because these days, I can leave work at a normal hours.  The weather is nice, and it's sunny out.  And it's still novel to Tae. 

Novel enough that after she woke up at 6:00am this morning, we were out the door and on the 7:28am bus.  Craaazy!!  A bus ride, a drop off at school, a trip to the gym, all before 9:30am?!?  Craaazy!!

We'll see what happens tomorrow - I'm pretty sure we can't take the bus - we have plans after work, and I might even have to wear a suit to work tomorrow.  Sounds like a car day. =)  I would be pretty happy though if I only drove half of the time; it's totally feasible.  Now, if only we could bike....

You know you're in trouble when...

... your four year old calls you out for not reading curse words aloud.

Yes, that's right.  I was reading a book with Tae with curse words, and she called me out when I didn't read the actual word that was printed.

Let's rewind.

For a long time, I've been a huge fan of Angry Little Girls.  The books have always been around my house and my office.  When Tae was really little, (like under 2) I used to read to her out of the Angry Little Girls books when I fed her dinner in my office. 

And, now she's four.  And she likes to read, and likes to ask questions.  So when she pulled out Angry Little Girls off the bookcase at home yesterday, I was worried.  She asked me why the little girl was so angry... why her mom was so angry...

And finally, we got to a page where Kim, the angry little Asian girl, calls someone a b1tch.  I read all the other words on the page, and the stumbled.... and I said, "You BITTY!"  At that moment in time, I couldn't think of another word that began with "B-I-T."  Not surprisingly, Tae took one look at me and said, "That's not what it says!"

So I tried to explain that there some words that were not appropriate for me to read, that they're not usually appropriate for grown-ups to say... and she says, "Why did the angry little girl use that word then?"

Eh.  I don't really want to "put away" books that aren't age appropriate for Tae.  I suppose they can be out of reach... but the lines become a little too fuzzy for me.  It's difficult, because for obvious reasons, Tae is drawn to graphic novels.  Unfortunately, most of the graphic novels that I have address some complicated (as Tae would say) subjects.  There's a part of me though that thinks that this makes it more important for them to be available to Tae... Sigh.

Scenes from Mother's Day...

By far, my post treasured moment of Mother's Day 2009:

Tae said,  "Mommy, when are we going to get our sister?"  (emphasis mine)

She then proceeded to stick her face right on my belly:

"Baby, baby!  Come out, come out!"

It was ridiculously cute.  And no, I'm not even pregnant.  She was talking to my EGGS.

10 Mother's day wishes...

1. That someone would invent a cure for pollen allergies.
2. That I could spend two extra hours in bed every day - one more sleeping, and one more lounging.
3. That I could wake up and there'd be coffee already made.
4. That Tae would sleep through the night and sleep all night in her own bed.
5. That the dishes would do themselves.
6. That the laundry would fold and put itself away.
7. That I could find a hair dresser that doesn't use the word "Oriental."
8. That I could find more time to ride my bike (and that I didn't live at the top of a crazy big hill).
9. That I could get a nice long paid maternity leave. (Not anytime soon, but you know, eventually.)
10. That Mother's day would be celebrated more than once a year. (Not with cards, but with all the women/mother-centered programming, discussion, etc.  Doesn't that kind of imply that the other 364 days of the year are just Man's day?  Totally unfair.)

Happy Mother's Day!  To my mom, and to all the other moms and mother-figures out there!

In the bath

because Tae enjoys swimming more than bathing. who says you can't kill two birds with one stone?