Time Management

I worry about over-scheduling Tae's life.  We're busy enough as it is, between work, my social engagements, and her social engagements.  Right now, she's just signed up for a 30 minute swimming lesson at the YMCA.  When she's bigger, music lessons (piano), might be in store.  We'd love to have her participate in team sports.  She likes doing gymnastics, and I think she'd LOVE ballet....

But sheesh, especially right now, as a single parent, I can't even possibly fit all those things in.  And I'm not sure that I'd want to.  Except, well, I think it's good to learn music at a young age; I appreciate my years of piano (except maybe the last 3 years which weren't quite so productive).  I think being involved in team sports if a good way to socialize, learn about teamwork.  I think enrolling Tae in dancing will fuel something she already loves.  Swimming is an important skill,  ETC.

I know that she can get exposed to things even if she's not signed up for an official class.  Well, except swimming - those teachers can just throw in the water and she's fine - it's not quite the same swimming with me.  And well, she won't absorb piano just by being around a piano. 

It's a hard place to draw the line.  I want our lives to have a little bit of flexibility to do something impromptu, to not be scheduled to do something all the time. 

And I think I need to assert some control over our family lives too - our *entire* family life can't be controled by Tae.  I mean, it already pretty much is, so those few priceless times when we can be free... I want to hold on to those for spur of the moments trips to the library, dinner out, taking a walk around our neighborhood.

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I thought a little bit about and researched finding Tae a Chinese dance school to enroll in - she's seen young girls doing more traditional-ly Chinese dance at a number of different events.  But, the more I thought about it, the less comfortable I was with it.  I know it sounds a little weird, but I think the girly-coquette-ish-ness that seems to go along with what I've observed in Chinese dance doesn't sit well with me.  I think that the dancing is SOO gendered bothers me.  I'm not denying that ballet is extremely girly, but I appreciate that there *are* male ballet dancers.  I don't even know if Chinese dance companies (of the more traditional sort) involve men - except in martial arts.

I suppose this is where I fall squarely into the category of Chinese American.

But, I still haven't signed Tae up for ballet... what I'd really love to see if a modern dance or hip-hop dance class for four year olds.  But I haven't found one.  And oh yeah, it has to be on the weekend.  (I feel mildly discriminated against for being a working parent that can't possibily take my 4 year old to a class that meets on Thursdays at 3pm.  But that's another post about my insecurities being a parent who works full+ time.)

Comments

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I think you should just let her explore what she likes. There is such a thing as forcing conformity in a reverse way, in this case conformity to your own political and social outlook. Maybe one day she may feel deprived that she never got to do certain things because YOU thought it was too "gendered." Your actions may not be any different from mothers of a previous generation.