Five

Somehow, my baby is turning five today.  She makes me laugh because she tells me about how she remembers being inside my belly, how everything was red.  (She saw an exhibit at the science museum.)

She's five, and she asks me funny things like, "Why is it taking so long for me to become a big sister?"  She still wakes up in the middle of the night, and screams MOMMY! at the top of her lungs - because, as she says, our rooms are so far apart now.

She's taken to calling me "Momma" this week, because some of her friends call their mothers Momma.

She can be very thoughtful, and polite.  She can be very caring towards people she knows.  She likes to try to be helpful, especially in the kitchen (when she wants to).  She can be very demanding, and wants so go everywhere I do.

She surprises me sometimes with her ability to articulate herself.  Even sometimes in the midst of a tantrum, she'll just scream, "I can't calm down!  I'm tired!"  She tells me that she's worried, or that she's happy about things, or that she misses things.  I worry about finding the right balance for her where she can be a kid, but also deal with a full-time working mother.  Sometimes, I think I need her, to help me take care of me.

And now, she's five.  I don't know how her baby years just past in the blink of an eye.  Some of it is a big haze in my mind.  For most of it I have photos to remind me of all the little things that she used to do.

But, I realize now why I love watching her at night - because when she sleeps, her face looks the same to me as that very first day I ever met her.  Five years ago.

Comments

[Rachel]

Happy Birthday to Tae!

[Shira]

I just got tears in my eyes. I hope you always catch glimpses of that first day!

[Cassie]

aww belated many happy returns to Tae

[Carl Carl by Carly]

i just stumbled on your blog through blogher.com and this post made me cry! my little girl just turned 2 and it was not easy for me to accept haha, your blog is so cute! love it!