bloogs blowing by

Oy vey.

I swear, this is a direct quote of what the director of Tae's school said to me this afternoon when I came to pick her up:

"Eliaday, I made your daughter cry today.  But you have to hear why.  She snuck her purse to her cot at nap time.  And I found her sitting cross-legged chatting away on her cell phone.  I had to tell her to put it away until the other kids fell asleep.  She looked more like 13 than 3.  I had to keep myself from cracking up.  But she can't talk on the phone during nap time."

Tae overheard the end of the conversation and said, "I was PRETEND talking!!  And I was talking quietly!!"  (on a pretend cell phone.)

I suggested that maybe she write a letter instead.

Or that if she's going to pretend to be on the phone, that she at least pretend to be listening to the dial-a-story at the public library.

We have recently rediscovered dial-a-story (I remember these from when I was little). At the Boston Public Library, there is a Cantonese dial-a-story that we call in to.  Neither of us actually understand the story, but it's fun anyway. 

Today, I tried to explain to Tae why sending mail FOR REAL involves putting a real stamp on the envelope so the postal carrier can bring the mail to the recipient.  First Tae asked me, "Why didn't you give me a real stamp before?"  and then she got really upset about the concept of the postal carrier bringing the mail instead of her personally delivering the mail.  All the letters that she writes me when I'm gone get personally delivered to me by Tae.  I guess the idea of a third party (ie the USPS) making the delivery was kind of upsetting to her.  Either that or she was just overtired... well, because she was talking on her pretend cell phone when she was supposed to be napping.

I have a new approach to things that I'm doing as a parent now.  It's called "always tell the truth."

Example 1:  When Tae asked tonight why she couldn't go outside even though it was still light out, I told her that because she didn't nap today, she had to go to bed early so she could get enough rest.  Yesterday, she got to stay up later, and had had a nap during the afternoon.

Example 2:  Tae asked why someone was smoking in a car that pulled up next to us during our car ride home.  She told me that smoking was bad for the earth, and asked why that person was smoking if it's bad for the earth.  I replied, "Some people do things that are bad for the earth.  Everyone gets to make their own choices and sometimes good people make bad choices.  You can make your own choices about what you want to do."

I've decided that the trouble I get in to by giving Tae misleading stories is worse than the trouble that I get in to from telling the truth.  We'll see how far this gets me.

big kid thoughts

over the past week or so, i've been watching tae through a different lens - through the lens of her being a BIG KID, not a baby.  apparently, she is such a big kid that she goes to the bathroom on the big potty without a kiddie seat on top of it.  she is such a big kid that she tries to help our two year old neighbor cross the street.  she is such a big kid that she cuts her pancakes herself, with a fork in her left hand and her knife in her right, and then switches her fork back to her right hand to eat the pancake.

tonight, as i was snuggling with her at bedtime, she said to me, "let's dream about hearts so we love each other."

SNIFF.

of course, on the flip side, this also means that tae is big enough to have some big kid thoughts that aren't so warm and fuzzy.  we have been reading "the man who walked between the towers" about 3 or 4 times a day for the past week.  this book (which is beautiful!) is about phillipe petit who walked on a tightrope between the two towers of the world trade center in 1974.

tae, being tae, asked me if i could take her there one day.  (she realized that the book was set in NYC, with the statues of liberty and bridges.)  i told her that i couldn't because the buildings weren't there any more.  (why?)  i had to explain to her that they fell because of a fire.  (why?)
  she asked me why they built the buildings if they fell down.  she asked me what was there now. 

i was a little unprepared for all of this. 

then she told me that she thought the buildings were still there, behind the clouds.

it's a little sad to think that this is the world that tae is growing up in.  one in which it is not strange to her to take her shoes off when she goes through airport security. 

SNIFF.

to sleep, to dream...

all of a sudden, tae has figured out to put herself to sleep.  i thought that maybe she was sick or something when she napped twice at school last week.  this hadn't happened since the last time she was sick, and before that, i don't think it ever happened.

but, it turns out, that after 3 1/2 years of life, my daughter has figured out how to put herself to sleep. 

tonight, we were talking about our routines, what we would be doing tomorrow... and tae started to talk about all of the little things... she was going to take a bath, brush her teeth, put on her pajamas, and then i'd read her a story.  she asked me if i was going to sleep with her, and i told her that i wasn't.  that i needed to shower and clean up.  and that when she woke up in the middle of the night, she could come into my room, and we'd snuggle in my bed.  i think for tae, and all her ocd-ness, knowing what was going to happen helped her feel comfortable about going to sleep.

and then, after reading one bed time book, tae looked at me and said, "mommy, go shower."  and i left.  and she fell asleep by herself.  in her room.  for like the first time ever.

and i went and took a nice long hot shower.  woo-hoo!!

overheard at our house this weekend

"did you buy cookie dough?  if you didn't buy any we can use tortillas.  and we can put sprinkles on the tortillas."

"if you need to check the weather, we can use your ipod."  (i mentioned to her that we could also look out the window.)

"RRRR.  i'm a pirate!"  (she had one foot stuck in a plastic cup.)

pins and needles

yesterday, we made it out to the backyard to play in the sandbox for the first time... probably since last october.  i am SO happy that spring is here.

so tae is sometimes a little OCD about things.  so she squats in the sand box, instead of plopping herself in the sand like some kids might.

yesterday, after squating in the sand for maybe 15 o 20 minutes, she says, "my feets are tickley!"  i thought she meant that the sand was tickling her toes.  but then she asked me if i heard it.  she stood up in the sand, and was standing kind of awkwardly... and then it hit me - her foot was asleep.

i don't know what it is about kids' physiology, but this must be something that just kicked in her tae.  i mean, looking at the way she sleeps, or some times how she sits, i'm surprised that her foot has never fallen asleep earlier.

and then began the "why?" questions.  why did her fall asleep?  what made it go away?  why couldn't i hear it?  well, quite honestly, i was stumped.  i told her about how her foot needed blood to circulate through it to do normal foot things... but the rest... i have no idea how to explain it to her.  i think she got even more confused when i said that her food had "fallen asleep."  because then she started talking about her foot being tired, and then needing to wake up....

living together

it's shocking to see tae grow up before my eyes - she has such a grasp now on abstract concepts.  kinda.

today in the car:

tae:    "K and B live together.  they are friends."
me:    "that's right, they do live together and they are friends."
tae:    "mommy and tae live together.  they are family."
me:     "yup, we are family."
tae:    "and we love each other."

then she proceeded at ask me about where i lived when i was little (did you live with gi-gi and pop-pop when you were little?)  i told her i did. 

then she asks, "and then you got big you came back to tae and i was alone in boston?"

OMG

tomorrow, tae turns three.

three.

i'm in shock.  i can't even fathom that i have a three year old.  yet there are times when tae is my best buddy.  her sense of humor cracks me up. today we were pretending some blocks were cell phones.  she gave me the biggest block she could find, and then told me, "mommy your block is ringing!"  and cracked up as i held the big block to my ear.

she likes to dress herself, and often puts things on backwards, on purpose (pull ups included).

she is still the pickiest eater in the world.

she still likes to be snuggled whenever possible.

she likes to say "i love you" in russian -she calls is "that funny word" - which comes out as "yah tee blah tee blue."

she is still healed with a kiss and a hug from mommy.

and we still like to lie close to each other at night.  when she sleeps, she doesn't look so different from that little baby that i gave birth to 3 years ago.  her heart still beats fast, and she still has that look of utter peace when she sleeps.

but when she's awake, she's a big kid.  with a wild sense of humor, an amazing imagination, and spirit of a rainbow, an elf, and a little monkey combined.

i can't believe she's going to be three.

and like she told me this morning, "and after that comes four, and after that comes five!"

i'm allowed to be proud, aren't i?

feelings, part II

maybe we're making more progress on the feelings bit than i thought.

this morning, i asked tae how she felt about her first day of school (today).  she told me that she was happy about going to school.  and she told me that she was sad because mommy had to go to work.

how is my two year old daughter able to articulate everything that i'm feeling but so concisely and so clearly?

i am so proud of her today.  when i left, she gave me a big kiss on the lips and an extra tight hug, and then we off to play.

no tears for either of us.

big kid

so last weekend we went to ikea.  YAY!  i got new sheets for both my bed and tae's bed - the hope being that fancy new fishy sheets would lure her out of my bed and back into her toddler bed. 

recently, when we talked about beds, there is tae's bed (the little bed) and mommy-and-tae's-bed (the big bed).  tae and i have been co-sleeping, well, forever, and maybe it's time to move on.

tae was so excited with the idea of new sheets - she was huging them and lying down on them at ikea.  when we got home, she was still talking about them.  when i put the sheets on her bed she got really excited and exclaimed, "I LOVE THEM!"

when it came time for her to go to bed, she put up a small fuss about not being in the big bed.  but, after i transported her library of bedtime books to her bed, she seemed to settle down.  and, so, she did it.  she spent the whole night in HER bed.  granted, she woke up like 4 or 5 times, but she spent the whole night in her bed.  and even better - i only spent from 6am to 7am in her bed.

but, i will admit.  sleeping by myself in my own big bed?  it was a little lonely.  maybe i needed the new sheets to lure me out of her bed.