I wasn't doing anything particularly exciting, except that my friend and I were walking out of a Vietnamese restaurant.
This man was standing outside, with his coffee resting on the restaurant sign out on the sidewalk. To me and my friend (who is also Asian American), he says, "I appreciate Asian beauty."
And we walked away, dumbfounded.
I really wish I had had the nerve to say, "And we don't appreciate racist sexist remarks."
But I didn't. And now, here I am pondering whether it would have helped me feel better if I said something. And he probably feels good about himself that he told some Asian women that he appreciated our beauty. What is wrong with this picture?
I don't think I've ever walked up to someone and told them that I appreciated something about them. Based on NOTHING. Should I have told him that I appreciate the racist heterosexist patriarchal world that I live in? (Oh wait, I don't.)
Who really thinks that that's an appropriate thing to say? To complete strangers?
Or maybe I should have told him that I'm not actually beautiful, that this is something that has been social constructed by the media.
Or maybe I should have told him that I appreciate ignorant white men because they provide so much fodder for my life, my blog, and my work?
Sigh. Happy Monday. This is why I like posting cute videos about Tae on Monday.
The girls went to bed at midnight and Tae woke everyone up at 7am.
Today will be interesting!
Well, it's almost 11:30... and no phone calls. I think the sleepover is a success!
If there were any phonecalls, I would really have expected them by now.
A little part of me feels bittersweet about this - that clearly Tae doesn't need me how she used to. And part of me is proud that she feels safe enough and independent enough to take big steps like this and do some really big kid things.
I'm also wondering what the right thing to do is- I guess we should invite Tae's friend for a sleep over in the relatively near future.
Tae is on her first sleepover tonight.
I don't think I'm going to sleep well. But, Im guessing that if it's not going well, I'll know in the next two hours....
I'm keeping my fingers crossed. My mom reminded me that I didn't even make it past the front door when I was first invited for a sleepover. But then again, I could have counted the nights I spent away from my parents on my hands. Tae has probably spent over 30 nights away from me so far in her life.
Sigh. I knew this would be harder for me than Tae. She looked a little nervous when I dropped her off, but her friend's parents set up a princess tent in the basement, and they were going to have popcorn and hot cocoa...
I think she's going to be fine. And I hope I will too...
So, I have some extra time to myself this week while Tae is spending some time with her dad.
Today's plan: haircut!
I haven't gotten my hair cut in over six months. My last hairdresser said something about "oriental babies" being so cute, so instead of saying anything, I'm just never going there again.
This time, I went to a Korean hairdresser. I liked her because she was more business than chatty. But, once I opened my mouth and asked about wedding hair, it was all over.
Instead of giving me a regular blow dry, she made my hair all pretty and curly - "Today's your wedding day!" she proudly exclaimed. So, today, for the first time ever, I have boing-boing curls. And I almost like them.
On the flip side, I am miffed that the makeup artist that works at the salon made comments about my skin. She told me, "you have an acne problem."
Great. I could feel her looking at my brows, my forehead. Eh. She asked if I was going to wear contacts when I got married, and I told her that, no, I don't wear contacts. She was shocked. Now, why in the world would I trust someone like that to do my makeup for my wedding?
It just confirms all the negative things that I think of when I think of beauty products and beauty salons. I believe that I can be beautiful without getting my eyebrows done, without contacts and with my acne. Why do I need to have curly hair to be beautiful? Who ever said that my straight black hair isn't beautiful?
I'm torn. I'm enjoying the boing-boing curls for tonight, even though it just doesn't feel like me. But it makes me want to rebel and not so anything crazy and fancy with my make-up and hair for the wedding. Because I'm not that fancy (I'll admit, I am sometimes crazy) in real life.
But, I'll admit it. I'm totally enjoying flipping my curls, just for tonight.