bloogs blowing by

The Costume

So.  The costume project is officially finished.  Here's how the project progressed.

The materials. 
Pink sparkly tulle, pink ribbon, and a pattern.

The process.
Sew lots of circles to tulle.  Layer together.  Gather.  Make poofy.

Do a lot of basting.  Sew on ribbon waist.

Buy a leotard and dance shoes. 

Wait to see what Tae thinks.... I'll keep you posted.

NPR in the car leads to...

... interesting conversation in the car!!

the first news item that tae started asking me about was the contaminated milk in china.  i think she listened to a lot of the segment on this news story.  then she started asking me questions about why the milk was bad, and how did the bad chemicals get in the milk in the first place?

then, the next day, she asks me, "can you play that story again about the milk in china?"  trying to explain the concept of "news" to a 4 year old is difficult.  so, i told her that we could keep listening to the news, because if there's more news about the milk in china, then we might hear it.

then, as we were listening today, tae asked me what the people on the radio were talking about.  i told her they were talking about banks that didn't have enough money. 

tae:  but not the banks in boston?
me:  no, not the banks in boston.
tae: not the banks in boston because there are lots of colleges in boston, and the people in boston learned.
me:  well, maybe.  but even if people learned, they can still make bad choices.

unfortunately, our local NPR station is in the middle of a pledge drive; and *that* is one thing that i have NO idea how to explain to tae.

A hint of what's to come...

Tae received a cute set of stamps for her birthday.  Rubber stamps with washable ink.

This morning, as I was making breakfast, she shouted out, "Don't see!"  (which means don't look)

When I finally peaked in to the family room, she was stamping herself, all over her legs and arms.

She saw me look at her, and said, "IT'S MY BODY."

I guess she's been listening very well to my messages.  Maybe too well.

Party-madness

For a brief moment, I was stressed about Tae's upcoming birthday - not so much about the birthday, but about the party, the expectations.

And the stupid party favors.  Tae has a small handful of friends coming over for her birthday party; and I remember last year, it was a pain in the butt buying a couple of small gender neutral, age-appropriate party favors.  And, why do the bags come in sets of 8 and the toys come in sets of 6 or 5 or something totally different?

To add another layer of intricacy, the parents at Tae's school often leave goodie bags in all the kids' mailboxes.  There are about 19 kids in Tae's class.  One girl even gave everyone jibbitz on *her* birthday.   (As if everyone had crocs?  Oh right, everyone *does* have crocs.)

So, I did a quick google search on party favors for kids birthdays, and read some things that other parents had wrote about party favors.  I appreciated the reminder that it's a lot of JUNK that just ends up accumulating or breaking, or being frustrating to kids.  And I feel fine now not giving party favors at Tae's birthday party and not leaving goodie bags at her school.

I will however, get Tae a pinata for her birthday and put some small treats for the kids inside the pinata.  And I will also bake mini-cupcakes with Tae to bring to her school.

I'm remembering that birthdays are about celebrating, and being around friends and family.  And I know we'll have that, and so I know that Tae's birthday will be a success.

Which leaves me to stress out about the fact that my baby is about to be FOUR.

Harriet Tubman, night #5

My daughter read me Harriet Tubman in CHINESE.  Well, her pretend Chinese.  Which sounds really Chinese-y.

Then we talked about why Harriet didn't have a choice about being sent away from her family.  We talked about choice, which is good because the teachers at school talk about taking a way choices when students aren't behaving.

Tae wanted to know why Harriet couldn't choose to stay with her family.  I told her that there were rules that were unfair, and that people who looked different had to follow different rules, and that that was unfair.  I told her that Harriet was running away to a place there the rules weren't unfair (Philadelphia? Tae asked).

I am a) waiting for the day that Tae runs away from me to Philadelphia (where Aunt Jen lives) and b) for the day that Tae tells me that my rules are unfair.

Until then, I will happily read Harry Tubman with Tae every night because she told me that she wanted to learn about this book.

Harriet Tubman, night #4 and my cursed car

Lo and behold, guess what book Tae asked for at bedtime tonight?

The one about the girl who was afraid of going to jail.

I don't know what it is about the concept of jail; I've been sure to tell Tae that only grown-ups go to jail.

Tae is a creature of habit.  So just like last night, she read about Harriet Tubman to herself while I listened from jsut outside her doorway. 

She started the story like this:

"The day Harry Tubman led her people to freedom.  Harry Tubman went to a place where she could be free.  She went to Philadelphia.  Mommy, where does Jen live?"
"Jen who?"
"Your sister Jen."
"Oh.  Jen lives in Philadelphia, where Harriet Tubman went to be free."
"I thought so."

Luckily, by the time it was my turn to read, Tae was very very tired.  Three nights of reading and learning about Harriet Tubman have kept her up later than usual - so late that I've had to start setting an alarm to make sure we get up in time to get out the door.

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I use my car a lot.

Yesterday, I brought my car in to the shop because it was making this squeaky rattly noise.  I got some pretty hefty work done on it.  And drove home, happy to have a smooth running car.

Then, this morning, I tried to roll down the window.  my window rolled down about an inch.  Then stopped.  I could hear a motor going, but nothing was happening.  Then I couldn't roll it back up. 

HOW annoying is that?  Besides the hissing when I drive, and the fact that if it rains my car will be wet, I am very annoyed.

Who takes their car in to get the brakes fixed, and leaves with a window that doesn't roll down or up?  (Well, probably the same person who owns a car that was backed in to TWICE in one week while parked in front of my own house.  That would be ME.)

I'm mostly just annoyed, because as someone who needs their car every morning to drop off and pick up my child off, it causes major scheduling issues.  That, and it eats in to whatever free time I might have for myself or with Tae.

ARGH.

Sometimes, I just really set myself up for trouble

Today, we were out and about in Boston, and we saw a plane write "MOHEGAN SUN" in the sky.

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I am usually pretty open to let Tae pick whatever books she wants out of the library.

On our last trip, Tae picked out a book called, Moses: When Harriet Tubman led her People to Freedom.  I usually don't try to dissuade Tae form picking out books that are out of her age range.  Maybe I need to rethink this.

Especially when Tae has decided that this is her new bedtime book.

The book has lots of religion in it, talking about Harriet praying, getting guidance from god.

The first time we got to the word praying, we had to stop and talk about what prayer was.  My standard definition of prayer is sending a wish to the shy... with the caveat that after sending the wish to the sky, you need to think about what you can do to help make that wish come true.

Tonight, Tae said, "Do you send your wish to the sky, and then an airplane will write it?" 

I told Tae no, that some people send wishes to the sky, and hope that someone else will help it come true.  But that sometimes we can make our own wishes come true.

"Like I wish I could buy those slippers I saw in Chinatown?  Like I wish I could buy those turtles I saw in Chinatown?"

I told Tae that sometimes wishes aren't just about things that you want, but that they can be about things that you want to happen.  I told her that I wished that I could go to the beach.  And then she said, "I wish that Gi-Gi and Pop-Pop will never be dead."

I think my heart skipped a beat.  THIS is what I get for reading about Harriet Tubman to my three year old at bedtime.  (As a bit of context though, we walked by a cemetery today, and Tae was asking about the people in the ground; about what would happen if people she knew were in the ground, what would happen if all the people in the world were underground.)

Then, as we read on, the book talked about Harriet being afraid of going to jail.  I tried to explain jail like a big time out for grown-ups who don't follow the rules.  Tae wanted to know what the people did in jail, and if they could come out if they decide that they are ready.  We talked a little about rules, and how people learn how to follow them.

And luckily (?), Tae hasn't asked too many questions about slavery.  I haven't used the word slavery, but we've talked about being free.

Tonight, I spent an hour reading with Tae before she actually fell asleep... because the reading we were doing wasn't calming.  At all.

my last post about poop, or other exciting things that happened on the cruise

so there was another exciting [to me] thing that happened on the cruise.

there were no diapers.  tae has been peeing in a diaper since thanksgiving, and pooping in diapers.  it was a team effort trying to get tae to poop in the potty - with her teachers, grandparents and everyone supporting my efforts.  there were poop charts, ice cream incentives, and other cool things.

and then, on the boat, there were NO DIAPERS!  and guess what, she pooped in the potty.  everytime.  and, once we got off the boat too.  woo-hoo!!

and, i think this my last post about tae's poop.  because she's getting big, and i don't want to be writing about my kindergartener's poop.

but wait, how am i supposed to clean out her big kid potty after she poops?

tidbits

we leave tomorrow evening for nyc.  and then sunday we get on a boat... for sunshine and vacation.

and right now?  totally procrastinating.  i don't enjoy packing.

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last night i wasn't paying attention and i accidentally put my toothpaste on tae's toothbrush.  she doesn't like mint at all, so when she stuck the toothbrush in her mouth, she made this completely disgusted face.  "mommy, it's spicy!!"

i told her that i put my toothpaste on her brush by accident, that i wasn't paying attention.  and she said, "it's ok, mommy.  next time i can help you."

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this morning i was telling tae how we were going to see someone this weekend who was a friend of mine in college.

T:  "at vassar?"
M:  "yes."
T:  "where was i?"
M:  "you were just a little egg in my belly."
T:  "do i have eggs in my belly?"
M:  "you have little tiny eggs, but they won't grow until you get big."
T:  [jumping] "the eggs are jumping."
M:  "when you get big, do you think you'll want to be a
      mommy?"
T:  "yes.  what's my baby's name?"
M:  "well, mommies and daddies and parents get to pick names
      for their babies.  what will you name your baby?"
T:  "tyronne!  and then tyronne will have eggs in his belly!"
M:  "well, only girls have eggs in their bellies.  is tyronne a girl
      or a boy?"
T:  "tyronne is a girl."

oy.  i tried to explain to her a little bit about how you need a boy before your egg starts to grow.  but i know that that's not entirely true.  i want my explanation to account for babies that have two mommies or two daddies or any permutation of possible parenting set ups. 

how do you explain to a three year old life before they existed?  i know it's a little unfair to tell her that she was an egg in my belly.  but it's TRUE!  (no offense to dads/sperm donors or egg donors or others involved in fertility out there.)

this is getting challenging. 

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i'm supposed to be packing.

to strong women with strong voices

when i first started to blog, i thought that it would be cool to put my thoughts and experiences out there, with the hope that someone would read what i wrote and realize that they are not alone.

and, while that part may have come easily, the part that was most surprising and least expected was how much community could be built by this simple act of sharing my thoughts with others.

now, years after starting my first little blog, i feel like a whole community has grown around my blog life.  it is a community that cheers when the good things happens and mourns together when things are tough.   it is as much of a community as any real life community that i am a part of.

as a single working mother, i don't really have time to get out there and meet other parents, especially the asian american single/about to be single working mother type.  when i find people who i can relate to, whose stories just resonate with mine, it's impossible to turn that connection off.  i need it to make it through my day, and i need to make sure they make it through their days too.

to MN - we are all here for you.  you will get through this because you will.  i am inspired by your strength, your determination, and your love for you daughter.  i remember that a woman i know who is also divorced said to me, "i know this sounds trite and doesn't make a difference for you today, but it will get better."  and it did sound a little trite, but she was right.  it will get better.  i know it will.